Unlikely Friendship
by previouslysane
Summary: Santana doesn't have to help Dave. All she has to do is exist around him, right? But Dave opens up to her, and she can't ignore a plea like that. Santofsky friendship, sort of AU before Prom Queen
1. Chapter 1

"Well it looks like we'll be spending a lot more time together," Santana said, leaning back on the couch. "It doesn't mean I have to talk to you or anything, does it?" She pulled the bag of chips closer to her and started popping them in her mouth.

"Can you… can you tell people we had sex?" Dave said.

"Sure." She shrugged and swiped the remote from him. "I mean, they already think I did right?" she snickered. "Though, honestly, the thought of your hairy body touching mine…" She scrunched up her nose. "Let's just say… it really solidifies my sexuality."

"Are we gonna talk about that at all, or…." Dave looked at his hands.

"Talk about what." She said, her eyes shooting daggers. "The fact that you wish that _you _were in my shoes, sleeping around with every guy in the school? Or what, the fact that you don't seem to have any food in this house that won't shorten my lifespan."

"Look." He said, clenching his jaw. "You're blackmailing me into hanging out with you. I don't want to turn it around, but I've got something on you that you don't want anyone else to know." Santana shifted awkwardly on the couch. "So don't go pretending like this is a one way street. You have people that you can talk to, you just _choose _to be mad at them. I… I have no one."

"Exactly." Santana said. "That's why I've got the upper hand. Because you have no one else."

Dave frowned, looking at her exasperatedly. "Do you know just how much torture that is? I mean—the one guy I turn to for help up and ditches me—"

"Wait, you asked Kurt for help?" Santana raised an eyebrow and leaned towards him. "And he didn't help you?" Dave rolled his eyes and leaned against the couch, a flush raising to his face.

"Well…" Dave clenched his jaw and bit his lip. "No, I didn't really… use my words."

"So if you didn't use your mouth, what part of the body did you use?" Santana said sarcastically.

"I didn't say I didn't use my mouth…" Dave murmured. Santana's confused frown turned into a wide-eyed chuckle of glee.

"You kissed him. You _kissed _Hummel, and you expected him to be all forgiving and crap—"

"Well what was I supposed to do?" Dave said defensively.

"Uh, I don't know, use the English Language?" She cackled. "Did he leave the day after or did it take hours?"

"Weeks." He murmured. "I was really scared that he was going to tell someone. I mean, he told his boyfriend about it, and he was really pissed at me, I don't know I just…" Dave bit his lip and flopped down on the couch. Everything was silent for a very long time. Santana watched as Dave's eyes grew glassy as he became hypnotized by the television. He didn't care what was on it, just that it existed.

"Wouldn't it be easier just to kill myself?" He whispered after a while. It didn't even sound like he meant for Santana to hear it. "Less people would hate me. Less people would stop using me."

"Hey, I'm not—" Santana muttered.

"You are." Dave turned to her. "You don't give two shits about what's going on with me. I have no friends. My parents will hate me. I'm fucking up everything and all you want is your goddamn prom queen title." Dave said, tossing the remote. "No one cares about me! No one cares about me, and you think that I'm going to be willing to keep both of our secrets just so you can get the girl and ride off into the sunset? What happens after that? I can't change, I'll go back to shoving people, and I can't accept myself."

"I'm doing it for you too." Santana said, pursing her lips. "I mean… I wasn't up until a few minutes ago when you started talking about suicide, but this can easily be turned around to be an advantage for you."

"Oh, and how is that?"

"You've got me." Santana said. "You can now approach Kurt at your leisure. You want to talk to him in private, go ahead. You want to _actually _apologize to him for doing what you did, then go ahead."

"You are so dumb." Dave scoffed. "That's never going to work."

"You can join the glee club." Santana said softly. "You can join glee."

"I'm not going to join your stupid club—"

"Really?" Santana stood up. "Because that _stupid club of mine are the only friends that I have. They are the only friends that will actually be there if I decide to come out and be public with who I am. They could be the same with you, if you just let them." _

"_Really? Because everyone seemed to gag at the sight of me. NO ONE LIKES ME." He boomed, standing up. "The only people who seem to like me are the jocks who hate everyone else."_

"_They will only accept you if you tell them the truth. They'd even keep the secret if you asked them to. If you really just put faith in this club… you could find a world of experiences that you'd never have if you didn't join them." Santana shrugged. "You may even be dead, or even worse, married with children and a pool boy." Dave licked his lips. "I can't. I really can't." _

"_Not yet, you can't." Santana said, smiling softly. "I'm sorry I used you. I'm sorry that I'm going to continue using you until you either come out to yourself or I win Prom Queen." _

_Dave looked down at his hands. "I guess." _


	2. Chapter 2

"So." Kurt said, approaching Santana in the back of the club. "I hear that you're blackmailing Karofsky."

"It's just too easy." Santana said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, he basically begged me to be his beard when he realized that I figured it out. He was checking out Sam's ass."

"Really?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. He chuckled but then leaned in towards her seriously. "Santana… It's really difficult, being a man in this town and having a burden like that to carry. He really needs to be taught how to think about himself, how to not hate what he is. It's very difficult for him."

"You've known for… how long? And he told me what he did to you. Well… he didn't really tell me, I just tricked him out of it."

"Santana." Kurt sighed. "Please don't threaten Karofsky. You don't know what he could do."

"Oh, yes I do." Santana smiled. "He's a huge softie. I mean, when we're not talking about how much he hates me for blackmailing him when he has no friends to turn to if I just out him, and how much he would die for at least a little bisexuality, we're talking about his nieces and nephews and how disgustingly cute they are, and how he loves Sinatra and Springsteen. That kid could play guitar hero for years and be okay with his life."

"He's… what is he like?"

"He's mostly quiet. Sorta shy. Y'no, until he goes off on one of his little tangents about killing himself. He could be an okay guy."

"He's dumping everything on you." Kurt said. "Listen to him. He may be able to find himself better."

Santana shrugged. She then looked really shy and small, as Kurt had never seen her.

"I'm a lesbian." She murmured. Kurt sat up in shock.

"So what finally did it?" Kurt said, smiling. "I didn't think you'd really figure that out until college."

"Brittany." She muttered. "I told her that I love her. I thought… that she'd love me back but… she says she's with Artie which is total bullshit because there's nothing that that stupid boy can give her that I can't give her back in 10 fold." She crossed her arms. "That's why I have to win prom queen. So I can make a royal declaration that she has to… be with me."

"You think you can force someone to love you?" Kurt said softly. "Santana, she loves you. Let her figure that out on her own. Being prom queen isn't going to make her love you any more than she already does. It's not going to make her leave Artie. She's only going to be more upset with her because you're telling her what to do."

"It's… It's hard." Santana said, looking away. "I just… I want her to love me, and I threw that away and I'm… I'm so stupid for letting her get away like that—"

"Does Karofsky know?"

"Yeah." She wiped her nose. "Yeah I thought, fair trade. But I have glee to fall on if word gets out. He really has no one. And… I really don't like doing that to him, but I need Brittany, you don't understand. I really… I need her."

"I can't pretend to see the allure that the female form has for you." He rolled his eyes. "but I understand the love. Talk to Karofsky. Let him talk to you. You both need it. You both are in a similar place."

"I guess." Santana wiped her eyes. "But… Kurt I—I made him stop bullying for you."

"Yeah. I'm not much afraid of him anymore." Kurt smiled. "Thanks, though."

"He a bad kisser?" Santana chuckled. Kurt's eyes widened.

"Well, I mean he was a bit rough, but…" He shrugged. "He could be better."


	3. Chapter 3

"Santana." Dave said one night. "Kiss me."

"What?" she said, her face in obvious disgust. "You like the penis, remember? My face is attached to a vagina."

"Please, I have to make sure." Dave said, desperately.

"I'll even get naked for you, if you really want to be sure." Santana said. "I mean, I haven't had sex in years, it feels like, ever since this whole… coming out to myself thing, I've felt really repulsed by the male figure, so…" She took off her shirt and her bra, and looked at herself in the mirror. "I mean… I don't see what she doesn't see in me. I'm hot."

"I guess."

"Oh, your definition of hot has the word 'he' in it." Santa said. She felt Dave looking at her… not undressing her with his eyes, but really just looking at her, like he was trying to make her attractive to him in his mind.

"This doing anything for little fury?" Santana said, grabbing her breasts and letting them drop. "Am I gonna have to full strip?"

"No." Dave muttered. "No, you can put your clothes back on."

"Well, at least we're sure." Santana said, grabbing her bra and looking at it. He turned around and went to lay on his bed. "Hey, toss me one of your shirts."

"Aren't.. you gonna put your bra back on?" He said, tossing her a hockey T-shirt.

Santana scoffed as she slid her pants off. "It's not like they leak milk or anything. I don't have cooties, Davey."

"What are you doing?"

"Sleeping over. My parents are used to it. Your parents will be happy that little Dave has lost his virginity."

Dave blushed deeply and said nothing. He dropped his pants and pulled a pair of pajama pants out of the drawer. "Hey, Santana?"

"What?"

"Why are you hanging out with me? I mean, you could just say you're dating me but not actually be with me all the time."

Santana shrugged. "Well, you need someone. And… I need someone. And I figure why waste it anyway. I have no one else to hang out with."

"Have you… have you talked to Kurt?"

"You have got such a hard on for that boy." Santana chuckled. "Yes, I talked to him. He was all defending you, telling me that blackmail isn't going to help that I should talk to you, blah blah, blah."

"I…I don't know." He muttered.

"Okay, look." She said walking up to the edge of his bed. "I sit here and tell you about how much I love Brittany and how much she makes me happy… don't make this a one way street. Why do you love Hummel so much? Apart from the fact that he's the only gay thing you've ever come in contact with."

"Well… I mean… I met him once in elementary school before, back when I was really thin and kind of wispy and we went to the same summer camp. He was making all of these cool things in arts and crafts and I only took it because my mom told me I should take it. So he was making some sort of paper napkin origami thing, and some other kid comes around and smashes it, calls him a fairy boy. And I come over to him and I help him fix it. We were friends, but that was the year I wanted everyone to call me Dan because my cousin's name was Dan and I wanted to be as cool as my cousin. So he won't know it was me, because he thought that he made friends with a guy named Dan. Ever since that summer camp I've been mentally keeping track of him. We got to the same high school and I was so excited, but I wouldn't really let myself feel excited. We're going to be enemies, after all."

"Why didn't you just tell him?"

"Because my friends would rip my head off and eat it, that's why!" Dave laughed. "Being gay is the absolute worst thing that could happen to someone, in their opinion."

"Wow. That does kind of really suck for you." Santana said, looking at her hands. "You know what's funny? In my family, it's better if you're seen as a slut than a lesbian. At least you're a temptress. Incredibly beautiful. If you're a dyke then you're throwing away all of the offspring you can have and everything you are is pointless. Though, I guess, being gay would be much worse than being girly gay." Santana shrugged. "I'm scared too."

"Hey, remember last year when Kurt went out with Brittany?" Dave smirked. "And he was wearing all of that trucker clothing?"

"Yeah. I mean, I knew that Brittany and he weren't really dating because I got with her that night. She said that he's a silly kisser."

Dave's face deepened in his blush.

"Wait, so Brittany kissed Kurt?" Dave muttered.

"Yeah." Santana chuckled. "She said he asked her what boys lips tasted like." Dave closed his eyes and buried his face in his pillow. "What is up with you?"

"I just feel so stupid, I am so _stupid._" Dave grumbled. "I mean, what if I used my words? Maybe we could be together instead of that prep school prick—"

"Oh my god and they are _so _together." Santana said, laughing. "Seriously, you don't know. We walked into the choir room one day because we forgot some sheet music and they were sitting in the place where Kurt normally sits, and Kurt was all on top of this hobbit and I swear they were about to try and make little gay children."

Dave could feel the heat radiating off of his face, embarrassed by how much he enjoyed and hated this story at the same time.

"And no, you should've seen Kurt's face. We never catch him off guard and he was like, freaking out, buttoning up his shirt, straightening his hair and like, falling off of Blaine onto the floor. And this kid, this kid was trying to give me the excuse that they were 'practicing for nationals'. So I said 'I didn't know that gay porn had a nationals. I'm glad that you won at states.' And Blaine laughed but Kurt buried his face in Blaine's neck. It was so embarrassing."

Dave groaned. "I am going to be alone forever."

"No, you won't." Santana sighed. "You're going to grow up and move out of this town to somewhere more progressive. You're gonna start wearing glasses and jeffey caps and go to coffee stores and have a steady boyfriend. You'll be fine."

"I just want that to happen already." Dave said, clutching his pillow. "I'm sick of Lima, Santana."

"Me too, big guy." Santana climbed onto the bed and sat next to him indian style. "Hey. I know what I'm going to call you. Teddy Bear."

"Teddy Bear? Is it because of my size and because I'm nice because I swear—"

"Well, it's that and…" Santana smirked and ran to get his open laptop. She google searched 'gay bear'.

" 'Gay bear'? Really?" Dave tried to stifle his laugher. His laugher died once he saw the results. She clicked on the link that sent them to the Wikipedia page. A biker dude with a big mustache and huge muscles grinned at him. Next to him stood a hairy, slightly tubbier looking guy wearing old jean shorts that ended past his knee and an old Nascar shirt. They were marching in the pride parade in San Francisco. Dave frowned, his mouth open slightly. "What…?"

" 'Bear is a subculture of gay where the men tend to be hairier, heavier, or more muscular.'" Santa read out loud. "I figure, you look like these guys. You're a Bear, Dave Karofsky." These men didn't seem to be afraid of cameras. They were proud to be gay, and they didn't look anything like gays were thought to look like. They weren't the stereotype. These were just plumbers and mechanics, hockey fans and monster truck enthusiasts. They just happen to be gay.

"This is the best thing I've ever seen." Dave murmured, staring at the short page with amazement. "Seriously, Santana, you don't know what this means."

"Yeah, I thought so. I figured that it's difficult being gay when your only representation is Hummel. You are definitely no fashion enthusiast."

"I can dress myself when I try!" Dave said defiantly.

"Yeah. Call me when Kurt approves of one of your outfitts."

"Good. I needed an excuse not to call you anymore." Dave laughed. Santana flicked him on the side of the head.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're actually sleeping with him." Puck approached Santana one day as she was walking down the hallway. Santana rolled her eyes, but smiled mischievously. "I went over to your house last night because I wanted to talk to you and your parents said you were over Karofsky's. Santana that is _gross._"

"Look, you know nothing about him." Santana said, frowning. She still hated that people in glee still told her that Dave was horrible. "And we did a little bit more than sleep." _We talked about how gay we were and how it sucks to be ourselves._

"Santana, I've been with you more times than I can count on my fingers and toes." Puck said. She rolled her eyes and he cut her off before the door. "And I know you. I know that you _hate _sex."

She looked offended. "How could you tell me that I hate sex? We did it a million times."

"Yeah." Puck said. "And I've been with a million girls. You always wanted it like you were trying to get something out of it." Santana squared her jaw and looked away. She didn't know that Puck could be this observant. "All I know is that you _aren't _having sex with Karofsky. I can see that now. But what are you doing with him? You two are a horrible couple." Santana was at a loss of words. How long had Puck been this observant? She started to feel a fear in her and she looked around at everyone.

"How could you say that?" Santana whispered, tears in her eyes. "I..I love him. I really do."

"Those tears aren't for Karofsky."

"You can't prove that." Santana said, wiping her eyes. She was so afraid of Puck actually figuring everything out. He was so close.

"What is up with Karofsky then? Finn won't shut up about it, he knows that there's something up with Karofsky. And I know that there's something up with you too."

"So what," She said angrily, flinging her arms up. "You talk about me behind my back with Finn the halfwit? Is that what you're trying to say."

"No. I actually haven't said anything to Finn." Puck said. "I'm just trying to tell you that… I'm here if you want to talk to me."

"Get _lost _Puckerman."

"You cried, alright?" Puck said, throwing up his arms. "That's what this is about. You would cry a lot after we had sex. You wouldn't look me in the eyes, you would look bored or sad—And I know I'm a stud. And you would cry. And I always wanted to ask you about it, but I thought you got over it. But lately… you've started to look like you used to whenever we were alone. Like… scared. Vulnerable. And I just want to make sure that everything is okay."

Santana had tears falling down her cheeks her face scrunched up in sadness, and she finally shouted,

"I love Dave Karofsky!" She sobbed. "And there's nothing you can do about it, okay? You just don't understand!" She was shaking as she walked away. Dave rounded the corner and saw Santana sobbing and frowned, concern. He took her in his arms, her tears darkening his shirt. She clung to Dave and Dave shot Puck a look. He led her away to an empty classroom.

"He knows." She hiccuped. "I mean, Puck and I used to have a lot of sex, and… and he said that… I was different than the other girls and… and that he actually… he said I was trying to get something out of it—" She broke down into another puddle of sobs. Dave pulled up a chair and rubbed her on the back.

"San." He said softly. "Everything is going to be alright. You are confident, you have friends, remember? At least it's Puck figuring it out, not some meathead on the football team. Puck you can trust. If he figures it out—"

"When." Santana corrected.

"—when he figures it out, do you think he'd be the type to start a rumor about you?" Dave lifted her chin up. "He loves you, I know it. Like a sister. He will stick up for you and defend you because he knows you, Santana. Don't be afraid if he finds out."

"I don't want anyone to find out." Santana whispered.

"Because you don't want to _be_ it." Dave murmured. "I know what you mean. If no one knows then it must not exist."

"But it does." She said a little bit stronger. "And it's so _difficult_."

"Believe me, I know. But you have friends, remember? I have… Well… I have you, I hope."

"Yeah." She said, smiling softly. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I'm just not ready for anyone to know just yet."

"Then tell Puck. Keep him from voicing his suspicions." Dave said. "It's easier to keep a secret when the person knows what secret to keep."

"Yeah." She wiped her eyes, her makeup smudging. "By the way, Puck says Finn thinks something is up with you. And he 's talking to Puck about it."

The color drained out of Dave's face

"What does he think? Oh God, I hope he thinks I'm a virgin, I hope that's what he thinks…."

"But you _are _a virgin." Santana raised an eyebrow.

"I mean… he once said in the huddle that he never saw me with a girlfriend." Dave said, sighing. "I just hope he thinks that I'm a virgin and not gay." "You are one of the gayest guys in the school." Santana laughed, wiping her eyes and smiling. "Seriously. I don't know how you hide it so well. You could give Kurt a run for his money."

"I'm not… like… flamboyant or anything. I couldn't give to shits about what I wear, and you know that. I just… I like dudes. I _really like dudes." _

_Santana rolled her eyes and stood up with Dave. "I don't know what you see in guys." _

"_I don't know what you see in girls." Dave countered, smiling. Santana hugged him and Dave hugged her back. This was something he hadn't anticipated. Santana Lopez was his best friend._


	5. Chapter 5

"How much longer do you think it'll take them?" Dave said one afternoon as Santana studied herself in the mirror and Dave scrolled on the internet.

"I dunno. If you're on Kurt's photos on facebook right now, then I'd give it about a week." Santana said without looking. Dave flushed.

"I was not." He murmured. Santana looked towards him with a silly smile then looked back at the mirror.

"I never said you were. I just said that _if _you were—"

"I'm going to sing to him." Dave cut her off and looked her way.

"Yep, and I'm going to stop being hot." Santana said, brushing her hair out of her face.

"I'm serious." Dave said, sitting up on the bed. "I'm going to sing-apologize to him. That's what you guys do, right? Sing and crap?"

Santana rolled her eyes and walked towards the chair and looked at him. "Well considering that it's _glee club_, yes. We 'sing and crap'."

"I know what I'm going to sing to him." Dave said in a faraway voice. "I know exactly what I'm going to do."

"If it's a springsteen song, I am going to kill you. I swear if I hear the Boss one more time—"

"He's a classic!" Dave frowned. "He's the most talented rock artist of the eighties! His albums will forever be—"

"!" Santana threw her head back in laughter. "Oh my god, you and Springsteen sitting in a tree."

Dave flushed. "He's just talented." Santana raised an eyebrow. "… and he's not half-bad for his age." Santana gave him a thumbs up and laughed in her chair.

"Was it a Springsteen song?"

"No." Dave said. "None of his songs say what I really want to say. I've got the perfect one."

"You know… you singing to Kurt isn't exactly the most subtle of tactics."

"I know but—"

"Which _means…_" She cut him off. "That we have to get caught making out." Dave drew back with a frown.

"Do we really?"

"I want to make it hard for them." Santana said. "So I'll make it hard for you."

"Yeah, you couldn't make it hard if you took off your clothes and gave me a lap dance."

"Well, that's because you're _gay._" Santana rolled her eyes. "It's just a phrase that I have. But yeah, if you want people to not think you're gay, then you have to do a not gay thing, like making out with a girl."

"But… it's you." Dave said, retching. "That's like… that's like incest."

"…Do I really mean that much to you?" Santana asked. Dave looked away.

"You're the only person in my entire life that I've been completely myself around. It's weird." Dave said. "You're kinda my best friend."

Santana smiled genuinely and reached over to hug him.

"You know what, Teddy Bear? I think it's your turn to start the rumor. Last time I tried, Jacob Ben Jewfro figured it out."

"I've got the perfect idea." Dave said.

Coach Beiste had called an end-of-the-year football meeting, and everyone had to get into their gym clothes. It was about to start, and Finn thought that he'd go into the locker room just a little early. Quinn was turning into a monster again and he didn't want to have to deal with that. He entered the locker room, made absolutely no noise when he entered the completely empty locker room.

"Shh!" someone said, and then both male and female giggles ensued.

"Okay, so when they come in, we're gonna like… we're gonna…" That was Santana, and she was giggling. "We're gonna accidentally trip and like… everyone's gonna see us."

"Oh my god, Santana you're so high." The male said, giggling. That was definitely Karofsky… but it didn't sound like him. He didn't sound threatening and he actually sounded kind of happy.

"If I wanted to bring my face anywhere near yours it had to be done." Santana said. She coughed and then something crashed.

"Shhh!" Karofsky giggled. "You are such a clutz."

"When we run past them, they're gonna be like… are you gonna grab one of their asses?"

"What if I did? Would that be bad? That would probably be hilarious."

"You should grab Finn's ass." Santana said. Finn frowned, his mouth open a little at Karofsky's drug-induced giggles. He was about to go and see what was around the corners by the showers when the rest of the team started to enter the locker room. They were noisy and laughing. Finn stayed planted in the spot, hearing a loud crash from the showers and a disheveled Santana was draped over a flushed Karofsky. Everyone looked. People started to catcall and whistle, Finn just thought it was the most awkward thing he'd ever seen.

"Shit!" Karofsky said, his pupils dialated, his smile goofy. "That was… that thing meeting was today, right?"

"Hey guys." Santana said giving a small wave. Karofsky stood up, grabbed Santana by the hand and dragged her along while Santana muttered,

"Do it. Do it. Do iiiiiiiiiit."

"No! no..." Dave snickered as they ran past him to the lockerroom door. They left, the stench of weed lingered in the air. Puck came up behind Finn and frowned.

"Okay, that was one of the most fucked up things I've ever seen."

"They were trying too hard." Finn muttered. The rest of the team seem to have bought it, or they didn't really care because they were only lightly talking about how they got with Santana or how they thought Karofsky was lucky or something.

He almost mentioned to Puck about how Santana told Karofsky that he should grab Finn's ass, but he let it die on his tongue. It was just too weird to say out loud.

"Do you think they bought it?" Santana asked, looking back at the locker room.

"My teammates are so stupid." Dave said, brushing it off. "I mean, like, how obvious was it when I was looking at Sam's ass, and like, they didn't even notice shit like that so they're probably gonna buy it."

"Okay."

"Time for stage 2!" Santana said, pulling his hand, running towards the choir room. They approached the choir room; it was dark except for a figure sitting at the piano.

"Hey Brad." Santana said, pulling Dave inside. "Dave and I are gonna pretend that we're straight in here okay?" Brad just nodded. Dave's eyes widened.

"What the hell? Why did you just tell that guy? Why did-?"

"Brad just kind of exists here." Santana shrugged, pulling him to a chair. "Okay. So. So you gotta do it like you know what you're doing, okay? Have you ever made out with someone?"

"In like… 7th grade."

"Really?" Santana snorted.

"Yes, and what a magnificent pillow it was." Dave fell in the chair. He hesitated. "We actually have to like… kiss now." He muttered.

"Soon. Cuz they're gonna be here." Santana said. A few giggles from down the hallway echoed into the choir room. Santana straddled his lap and pulled his face in to kiss. Dave was sort of grossed out, but he pretended like he knew what he was doing as he ran his hands over Santana's back.

"grab my boob."

"Why?" Dave muttered.

"Oh my god, you are an impossible gay." Santana growled, reached down and grabbed Dave's hand to plant it on her boob. Dave was counting down the seconds until he got to stop. They heard the door open and Dave closed his eyes and pretended that Kurt was on him, not Santana. They were about the same height, and Dave gently brushed a hand on her face. He brought his hand from on her boob to her waist and pretended, he pretended with all his might. It wasn't that difficult with the aid of weed.

"Oh—" Tina's voice whispered. "Sorry." And they silently backed out, running down the hallway, probably eager to tell the entire glee club what they just saw. Santana got off of Dave after another 6 seconds and they both made retching noises.

"Uuughh, I thought I'd never have to do that again…." She choked, sliding a piece of gum in her mouth. She offered one to Dave.

"And seriously? Hand on boob? Do I even look like a boob man?"

"You are entirely an ass man, David." Santana chuckled. "Don't worry. I believe you. Now. Tell me what song you wanted to sing to Fancy?"

"Ahh!" Dave pointed. "you just called him Fancy! That's my nickname."

"It caught on. I like Porcelain better though."

Dave stared at Santana with eyes as wide as saucers."…that… may actually be the most perfect name for him I have ever heard in my entire life."

Santana bit her lip to try and stifle the laughter that was threatening to give them away. "Come on." She snickered. "Let's get out of here."


	6. Chapter 6

"I think… I want to go get my car tuned up." Santana said, lying on Dave's bed.

"Well go be a butch and do it yourself." Dave said without looking up from the computer. "Just cuz I can doesn't mean your lazy self can't do it."

"No." She purred. "I think I want to go get it done professionally." "Okay, if you're like… trying to tell me something, then just say it." Dave said, giving her a look.

"Hummel Lube and Tire." She smiled mischeviously. "Heavy on the lube."

Dave raised an eyebrow. "I highly doubt that he is going to be there, Santana. And old guys aren't my type, as much as I admire Burt Hummel."

"You don't know?" Santana swung her legs off of the side of the bed.

"Obviously not."

"Kurt Hummel is a part-time greasemonkey." She said. "He works on cars. _Willingly._ He has to wear these blue overalls and his face gets all greasy and he has this light sweat on his chest when he unzips it to his hips—"

"Santana, stop." Dave said. "I don't want to be like that, alright? He hates me. He has a boyfriend. He tells me that he's apologized, but he hasn't seen me. He knows nothing about me. You're the only person who knows me enough to know that I'd never hurt Kurt again… but he still tenses when he sees me come down the hallway. Like I'm still going to hit him. Like I'm going to hurt him. And… I feel bad that I did… but I just… I feel like such a dick and I can't stand it."

"Then apologize to him." Santana said. "Don't you have a song picked out?"

"Yes." Dave said. Dave licked his lips and frowned. "Santana." He whispered. "I still want to die."

This shocked Santana. She had really grown to like Dave. He was silly and funny and incredibly sweet. He wasn't as confused as he once was, but… she thought that being himself around someone would make him feel better. She thought that he could help her.

"Dave…" She frowned. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you'd tell me I'm being stupid. To suck it up and realize that being alive is like… a good gift or whatever, but it's not. I have to sneak behind my parents backs. The only thing I know how to do is to threaten, and I frighten my crush every time I see him." Dave shook his head. "I'm gay, Santana. I'm gay in Lima, Ohio. It's harder to be in the closet when you know for yourself what you really are. It's harder because I second-guess everything I do. I wonder if this is the way that straight guys say things, if I'm saying something that would give me away to my parents… I'm just so paranoid. I'm losing sleep over it." Dave closed his eyes and hung his head. "I'm just… I'm a fuck-up, Santana."

"No you're not." Santana said firmly. "You are the funniest, stupidest, most awesome guy I've ever met. And you are going to apologize to Kurt."

"What?" Dave frowned. "How is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"It means he'll really forgive you. He'll start hanging out with us. He'll talk you out of killing yourself. You'll be happy. You'll be _happy, _Dave…" She said. "Just… do it. We're practicing tomorrow in the Auditorium after school. Come by then. I'll make some stupid excuse to bring Kurt out to the choir room, okay?" Santana patted his hand. "Just don't give up. Not to be cheesy or anything, but seriously. It gets better."


	7. Chapter 7

Dave stood in front of the auditorium doors. It was now or never. He needed to go in there. He needed to do it. The last time he saw Kurt face-to-face, he told him he didn't know if he was gay. He told him to go to PFLAG meetings. He was lying under threat. This time, though. This time would be his time.

Dave pushed open the auditorium doors and walked in, his guitar slumped over his back in its case. He glanced at Santana who was frowning in confusion. He broke the gaze because he could feel about 12 other pairs of eyes on him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam said, frowning. "We've got the auditorium to practice."

Dave tried to find his voice. He glanced at Santana and then back at the others. "Um—"

"You are wasting our precious time." Rachel said, her jaw clenched. "We are running on a tight practicing schedule."

"Yeah, just take Santana and leave." Finn said.

"I'll give you five minutes. No more." Rachel said, looking at her watch and walking briskly away.

"No, I'm not here for Santana at all." Dave murmured. He cleared his throat and tried to speak strongly. "I'm here to apologize."

"You already did apologize." Puck said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, but I was threatened. I didn't really think you guys bought it anyway." Dave shrugged. "And… I'm here to… apologize… to Kurt."

Everyone's eyebrows raised and looked at a pleasantly shocked Kurt. He saw Dave. It was times like this that blew Dave away. When Kurt Hummel graced his eyes upon his face. When Kurt Hummel took time out of his gazing schedule to notice Dave's existence.

"You… already apologized. And I forgave you, remember?"

"I apologized for pushing you around, calling you names and stuff." He took a deep breath and found Kurt's eyes again. "I didn't apologize for everything." A flash of several emotions played on Kurt's face—confusion, fear, understanding and acceptance—Dave could read Kurt like a book.

"Okay." Kurt said. They all stood there awkwardly in silence before Dave said,

"Could you all… get off the stage?"

"You're going to sing to Kurt?" Finn asked.

Dave's cheeks flushed but he fought to keep it contained. "That's what Santana said you all did." He murmured. Kurt's face, again—confusion, amusement, acceptance. Kurt walked off of the stage without another word and sat, third row in, in the audience. The rest of the club followed Kurt into the audience and sat spottily around him.

"Okay so… the verses aren't talking to you…they're about me. And the chorus… is… it's to you…so… yeah." Dave said. The butterflies in his stomach were turning into tiny dogs, gnawing him from the inside out. He unzipped his guitar and put it on. He started to strum softly.

_Weep for yourself my man,_

_You'll never be what is in your heart…_

_Weep little lion man,_

_You're not as brave as you were at the start…_

He closed his eyes and mustered every ounce of confidence he had and his voice grew stronger.

_Rate yourself and rake yourself_

_Take all of the courage you have left._

_And waste it on fixing all the problems you have made in your own head._

Dave look to the audience and found Kurt's blue eyes as he sung. No one else mattered.

_But it was not your fault but mine._

_And it was your heart on the line._

_I really fucked it up this time_

_Didn't I my dear?_

_Didn't I my…_

Kurt's eyes were wide in shock. He was shocked at something, he looked so sad and relieved and shocked—Dave just played, tearing his eyes away from the crystalline pools of blue that were Kurt's eyes.

_Tremble for yourself, my man_

_You know that you have seen this all before_

_Tremble little lion man,_

_You'll never settle any of your scores_

_Your grace is wasted in your face_

_Your boldness stands alone among the wreck_

_Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck._

He didn't want to meet Kurt's eyes again. He wanted to stop here. He didn't want to finish, but he had to. He met Kurt's eyes again. He was no longer shocked, his mouth in a sad smile, his eyes brimming with tears.

_But it was not your fault, but mine._

_ And it was your heart on the line._

_I really fucked it up this time_

_Didn't I my dear?_

_Didn't I my dear._

This song was perfect. When he heard it, he was afraid that Mumford and Sons were watching him from a distance. He felt this way, exactly. He acted this tough guy on the outside, this strong, unbreakable man, when really he was just a little lion man, feigning bravery. Dave opened his mouth and sang as strong as he had ever sung in his life. It echoed around the auditorium, just his voice and his guitar, it rang in the rafters, it shook in the people in front of him. Kurt stood slowly.

_But it was not your fault, but mine._

_And it was your heart on the line._

_I really fucked it up this time_

_Didn't I my dear?_

Kurt made his way slowly up to the stage, his face blotchy and red. He grew level with Dave as Dave closed the song, softer, the guitar forgotten, just as smooth and full of emotion as ever.

_But it was not your fault, but mine._

_And it was your heart on the line._

_I really fucked it up this time_

_Didn't I my dear?_

Dave hesitated, drinking in every inch of Kurt's face before he whispered,

_Didn't I my… dear._

Dave felt a tear run down his cheek. He hated it when they did that. He felt the tears, but he wanted to ignore them, he wanted to forget that sadness existed and just live forever in Kurt's eyes but he was snapped back to semi-reality when the tear fell down his face. Kurt's face ran through emotions again—happiness, confusion, back to happiness, but it landed on bloodlust anger. Before he knew it, Kurt pushed him. Dave frowned in confusion, but didn't fight back. Kurt was sobbing and pushing Dave.

"See?" He choked. "You can take it." Dave nodded. He would never again lay a hand on Kurt Hummel as long as he lived.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry."

"I forgive you." Kurt said. "I just… I've wanted to do that for years. _Years._"

"You can slushie me if you want."

"No." Kurt said, wiping his eyes. "I got all I wanted out. I… I should've seen it… I should've helped. I'm sorry that I didn't help… I just—"

Dave shook his head and sung softly, "But it was not your fault, but _mine." _He took a tiny step towards Kurt. "And it was _your heart _on the line."

Kurt chuckled sadly, covering his face with his hands. He peeked over his fingers at Dave whose stomach swooped with happiness. "I need to talk to you… and… I don't think you'd like it if I… said everything I wanted to say in front of them." He murmured. Dave turned quickly to remember that the rest of the glee club was there. He caught Santana's eyes. She was silently allowing tears to fall down her cheeks. He glanced at all of the shocked faces in the small crowd.

"Join Glee." Rachel said simply, in awe. "Join this glee club." Once she said that the rest of them got started.

"Oh my _god_, man your voice is incredible. Great song choice." Sam said.

"You really need to join glee." Said Mike.

"You don't even know dude. I would totally go gay for your voice." Puck said. "sing something else.

Dave blushed from Puck's comment and shook his head. He hadn't been expecting them to actually _like _his singing.

"No…" he said. "I was just here to apologize to Kurt."

"C'mon man, we need you." Artie said. "Your voice is deep and gravelly, and we don't have one of those."

"Seriously."

"Yeah."

"Dave." Santana said, leaning forward. "You need us. You need _them. _They can help you." She breathed. "Please join. Please."

"No! No…" Dave said, backing away nervously. "I'm not even that good of a singer—" Everyone freaked out all at once.

"Are you _joking?" _

"That has to be a joke."

"Your voice is amazing, bro!"

"It is imperative that you join glee club. We need to succeed at nationals and I can't leave a voice like _that_ in Lima, Ohio."

Kurt caught Dave's elbow and pulled him silently backstage, out of earshot.

The rest of the glee club sat there in confusion for a little bit before the questions started leaking out.

"What's going on between Kurt and Karofsky?" Finn asked, frowning. "I mean, something's been up with Karofsky for a long time."

"Yeah, I've noticed that too." Sam muttered. He turned to Puck. "Do you know what's up with him?"

"Nope." Puck said shrugging. Everyone shook their heads in confusion.

"Santana, do you know what's up with him?" Quinn asked. Santana crossed her arms and stared pointedly at the stage.

"Santana, what's wrong with Karofsky?" Rachel asked.

"It's none of your businesses." She glared at the glee club. "He wanted to come here to apologize to Kurt. That's all."

"Is he abused?" Mercedes asked.

"Are his parents getting a divorce?"

"Did someone die?" "Is he in… like… my situation?" Sam muttered.

"Look." Santana said. "I don't understand why there's a third degree here. What's wrong with him is his business, and his business only."

"Just answer us this, Santana. Is he sad?" Rachel asked. Santana looked over at Rachel, her eyes filled with concern that was unexpected of Rachel. Santana sighed and muttered.

"Extremely."

"And you and Kurt are trying to help him, right?"

"Yes." Santana said, tensing her jaw. "He needs to join glee club. You guys need to get him to join. I don't know if Kurt and I are going to be able to talk him into it. Don't be hostile towards him. He needs to join this club."

"Why?" Sam said, frowning. Santana swallowed as she tried to keep back the biting tears. She stood up and made to leave.

"Just… trust me."


	8. Chapter 8

"They forgive you." Kurt said. "You should join glee."

"No." Dave said, looking anywhere but Kurt. "I wanted to apologize to you. And I did. Can you accept it and we can move on in our separate ways?"

Kurt reeled as though stung, frowning.

"I thought… Santana sort of implied that you wanted my help—"

"Yeah, well, I don't." Dave said, his shoulders hunched. He fell into a chair. "I gotta stop doing this."

"What. Putting on that tough guy mask?"

Dave laughed through his nose. "Yeah." Dave looked at Kurt. "Do you want me to be brutally honest?"

"Always."

"I don't want to join glee club because you're in it." Dave said. "And not because I _don't_ want to be around you. It's because I _want_ to be around you. I can't control myself. I'm not saying that I'm going to all out and kiss you again. I'm never going to touch you without your permission ever again." Dave clenched his teeth and said seriously. "I know that I'm gay. Being with Santana, talking to her… I know that I'm just as fruity as Toucan Sam. But to know that, and to know that you have a boyfriend who you love, and that you can never, ever feel the same way about me because I repulse you… it's a difficult thing to live with. I don't want to add that to the list of shit that make me want to kill myself."

"Dave, you want to kill yourself?" Kurt said, seriously. "I understand keeping the secret of your sexuality like that can be frustrating, but you have someone to share things with. And are your feelings for me strong enough to lead you to such drastic measures?"

"Not alone, they wouldn't." Dave murmured. "But they intensify when you're around. I…" Dave sighed. "I can't believe that I'm saying all of this out loud."

"You need to say things out loud. You need to _sing _things out loud. You really do need us, Dave." Kurt stood up to leave. Just as he reached the stage he turned around and said, "And your voice… is the most beautiful surprise I've ever had. It was beautifully rich, heartbreakingly so." Dave let his face curve into a tiny smile as Kurt walked away. Dave sat there in silence for a little bit before Santana came in, leaning against the doorway.

"Hey teddy bear." She said thickly.

"Aw, don't tell me you got emotional over me."

"No." she chuckled, wiping her eyes. "The sight of you just makes my eyes water."

"Well, that's okay. Just don't cry over little old me." Dave said, standing up and putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Dave you have to join. I'm so scared." She whispered. Indeed, she was shaking. Dave frowned. No one had ever shown so much interest in him. He'd never had a friend who cared so deeply about him. Ever.

"Santana…" Dave frowned. "You can't be serious."

"You're an asshole." She said, pushing him. He frowned in confusion. What just _happened? _"You can't scare me like that! You've got the most amazing singing voice, you sing… like…a goodbye song about some little lion and crap—" She took a second to calm herself down and then looked Dave into the eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm on my period."

"Did not need to know that." Dave said grimacing. Santana shook her head and wiped her face. "Santana… I'm changing my mind, little by little. But being in glee might just make things difficult for me."

"How?" Santana frowned.

"I'm about… 97% sure that I love Kurt Hummel." Dave murmured. "And constantly being around someone that you can't have is really hard."

Santana rolled her eyes and gave a little 'tch'. "Tell me about it."

"I told him my reason. He still thinks I should join, I think."

"Just… just do it."

"They'll never fully trust me unless they know what happened. They'll want to know why Kurt trusts me."

"They'll be fine with just guessing. I told them… that you were really sad and that you needed help. And they seemed eager to help. Rachel was, especially."

Dave snorted. "She likes me for my voice."

Santana nodded. "The same way I only like you for your body." She chuckled. Dave cracked a smile.

"Well… I mean I can hang out with you after school, right?"

"Yep." Santana said. "And then we can go get ice cream and complain about how cramped our closet is." She smiled widely. Dave's white teeth showed in his lopsided grin.

"I'll… maybe I will." He said. "But… just because I can't resist your feminine allure."

"Yeah." Santana cackled. "That and you want to be in a room with Kurt while you watch him doing what he loves most."

"I didn't say it wasn't." Dave shrugged.


	9. Chapter 9

"Everyone, this is Dave Karofsky and it took a bit of blackmailing, bribery and trickery, but he is joining Glee club." Santana said proudly as she dragged a blushing Dave by the arm. Mr. Shue looked at the pair surprised.

"Oh. Well. It's nice to have you here, Dave." He smiled warmly at Dave. It was strange, not being glared at. He didn't like it because he wasn't used to it.

"Thanks." He murmured. Mr. Shue turned away from the club and wrote a single word on the whiteboard.

"Secrets." He said. Dave's half-smile was wiped off of his face completely. "We've all got them. But if we're going to be a well-oiled team at nationals, we have to know each other like a family. We recently forced Sam to reveal a secret that he wasn't comfortable telling, and it wasn't very pleasant for either person. We need to be comfortable with each other enough so we can confide in each other." Mr. Shue said.

"But it's healthy to have secrets." Quinn said. "You don't want to put everything about yourself out there. You want people to judge you on what you are now, not what happened."

"Yeah, but… secrets can make you jumpy." Sam muttered. "They make you afraid. You wonder 'do they know? Does everyone know?' It eats you away inside."

"And if the secret is like… something that the school would find out and make fun of you for… you should just tell the people you like the most so they can help you." Brittany mumbled, looking back at Santana. "Or else there's no point in having so many people to help you."

Dave got up, nearly knocking his chair over. Santana stood up next to him. They started walking out.

"Dave!" Kurt called. Dave couldn't help but to stop. Santana kept walking but stopped once she saw that Dave did. "Dave… you don't have to say anything you don't want to—"

"Really?" Dave whipped around. "Because this is my first meeting, and you pull _this _shit?" He pointed to the board angrily.

"Don't—Mr. Shue didn't know—he's just sometimes conveniently on-point." Kurt frowned. "Please don't leave."

"I… I didn't mean to offend you, Dave."

"It's alright, Mr. Shue. But… I don't think that I can be a part of glee if I have to open myself up."

"Dave." Santana whispered. "Dave you can't leave."

"What?" Dave shouted. "You filthy hypocrite. If you want me to be open about myself, then _you _be open about _yourself_."

Santana looked stung and her mouth opened slightly, but she closed it and looked at him intently. "You know as soon as I do, they're going to know." she murmured.

"Santana… is everything alright?" Artie asked.

"I don't think you have the guts." Dave hissed. She squared her shoulders and walked in front of the glee club. She could do this. She had to do this, for Dave. Dave's frown disappeared and was replaced by shock.

"I'm a lesbian." She said, her voice half-shaking. "I… I am. And I love Brittany." Brittany had a small smile on her face as she looked at Santana. "Okay? There. That's my secret." Puck gave her a knowing smile, as did Quinn. Everyone else was shocked into silence.

"We knew you loved Brittany." Rachel said. "But… I guess we didn't expect you to realize it for a long time."

"Yeah well… Holly Holiday can be really helpful." She murmured. Dave looked at Santana, feeling painted into a wall. He wished he hadn't goaded her into outing herself. He felt suddenly alone and exposed. He had no girlfriend to mask his efforts anymore.

"Hey, Dave, did you know your girlfriend was a lesbian?" Puck chuckled.

"Uh…" Dave muttered. If he said yes, that would mean… but if he said no… what… everything was so confusing.

"I've got a secret." Kurt said quickly to mask Dave's brain lapse. They all looked up at him. He walked down the seats. "Go sit back down you two." Brittany had her arms open for Santana, who was wiping her eyes. Dave went to go sit back down in his seat alone.

"When I was at Dalton…" he looked guiltily down at his feet. "I sort of told them all about you guys. About what you were probably going to do at Sectionals, about the types of music that you were going to use… but then I felt bad so I approached Rachel and told you guys about what the Warblers were most likely to do." Kurt shrugged. "I'm sorry about that though. I was kind of desperate for Blaine."

"I've got a secret." Finn said, once Kurt finished and took a seat next to Dave. Dave mouthed 'thank you' to Kurt who nodded. "I still mix up my lefts and my rights." Everyone chuckled. "But I figured out that if you make L's with both of your hands, the one that makes and L is Left."

"You deserve all the awards, Hudson." Dave chuckled. Everyone tittered at his remark.

"I have a secret." Sam said, standing up. "I'm a blackbelt in Karate, and I use that knowledge to come up with cool fighting sequences if I was a jedi."

Dave's eyes widened.

"I've got a secret." Dave said quickly. "I do the same thing."

Sam's eyebrows raised. Everyone turned to look at Dave. It wasn't the biggest secret, but it's something he kept secret about himself and even Santana because Santana already thought he was the biggest nerd.

"You're a black belt?" Same asked.

"Well… no… I only got up to brown before I quit to play hockey. But I would pretend that I was Luke Skywalker all the time, and I would get a big stick and pretend that every time I messed up and it hit me, I'd lose a limb or something."

"Dave, you are a huge nerd!" Santana cackled. The rest of the club laughed also, but Sam's eyes were alight with happiness.

"No way? I'd be Han Solo, though. He gets Leia in the end, right? And I dunno, he's badass."

"Well I mean, yeah, but I always would pretend that I was best friends with Han Solo. Sure he gets Leia, whatever, but being friends with Han _Solo—" _Kurt nudged him in the ribs. Dave flushed before regaining himself. "Besides. I killed like, every Sith lord when I was Luke."

"Can we get another secret please? Let these two nerds geek out on their own time?" Quinn rolled her eyes. Sam grinned at Dave and sat down in his seat. Dave flushed he almost gave himself away on a rant about Han Solo.

"I have a secret." Mike said, walking to the front of the room. He licked his lips nervously and looked at Tina for strength. "I've eaten dog before."

Mercedes burst out laughing. "Way to play into the Asian stereotype, Mike."

"It was when I was little! When I still lived in Hong Kong."

"You lived in Hong Kong?" Kurt said.

"Yeah, until I was 10. We moved here because my Dad finally got the paperwork settled. And it's totally legal to eat dog in China."

"You lived in another country?" Puck said. "And your parents _chose _Lima, Ohio as the place they wanted to live most?" "Well… we tried living in Philadelphia, but it was too expensive, so we moved here when I was 13." Mike shrugged. "Besides. If I hadn't moved here, I wouldn't have met Tina."

Tina smiled brightly.

"I've got a secret." Puck said softly. His shoulders were hunched as he looked at the group. He stood up in front of everyone and sighed. "I still go visit Beth. Every month or so. I check up on her, make sure that Ms. Corceran has enough money for food and diapers and stuff. That's why I stole the ATM. Because… because Beth needed a surgery, and she needed more money because the insurance was a little crazy, and they needed a similar blood type… I don't know. But I didn't want to bother Quinn about it, because every time I bring it up with her, she gets all cold."

"Is she okay? She's fine, right?" Quinn said, nervously.

"She's fine now. Ms. Corceran won't let me see her anymore since I went to Juvie. She thinks that the way I'm acting would be a bad influence on her."

"Can… Is she…" Quinn's jaw was trembling. "What does she look like?"

"Ms. Corceran would be cool if you went and saw her."

"No." Quinn shook her head seriously. "No, I can't. Just tell me, Noah."

"Blonde hair, green eyes. She's walking everywhere. She's shy and she likes books. She's almost saying sentences now. Her first word was "Sing'. It made Ms. Corceran happy."

Quinn pursed her lips as she looked sadly down at her lap. She didn't say anything else.

"Well, that was my secret." Puck muttered. "Now you know."

The club sat in silence. Dave didn't know that about Puck. He was genuine and caring, and he wasn't afraid to show that. Dave wondered what he was thinking all the time. He used to be such a jackass to everyone just a couple years ago, but now… he seemed caring and thoughtful. Maybe still a little bit of a jackass, but the kind that everyone liked.

"I have a secret." Rachel murmured. She stood up in front of the club, nervously picking at her fingernails. "I tried to commit suicide when I was in freshman year. At the end of it, actually." There was a silence in the glee club that was so thick it was tangible. They all waited on Rachel to continue. "I mean, it was more for the theatricality than it was for the actual depression I was feeling… I had no friends, and no one wanted to be my friend. All I had was my voice and my dads. They told me it was enough but… I didn't feel like it. I thought that the great, unappreciated artists all killed themselves before their work was popular, and I felt like I needed a better reason than Quinn Fabray's degrading remarks." She swallowed. "So I tried to drown myself. In a lake. I waded there until my arms and legs got tired and just… tried to sink. Some guys saw me go under and they saved me. " Rachel nodded sadly. "I felt as though I had died anyway, and that life had new meaning after that. I saw the point in life. It was horrible, but I did anyway."

"Rachel…" Finn whispered. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to get up and comfort her.

"I say this because of you, Dave." Rachel looked right into his eyes, and he felt suddenly under a spotlight. "I don't want you to lose yourself. I want you to know that no matter what's going on, that there will always be people for you, no matter what."

Dave couldn't say anything. Rachel, of all people, was encouraging him?

"We're here for you, man. If someone died, if you're being abused… we're here for you, okay? We got your back." Artie said. "Well, basically, we got your back because Kurt and Santana got your back."

Dave couldn't say anything, he just nodded numbly.

Kurt put a gentle hand on his shoulder, and every single nerve that was under Kurt's soft touch sparked to life with heat and excitement. Dave closed his eyes.

"I don't know… what you're talking about." He said thickly. Not believably at all. "But I appreciate it, Rachel, really. I'm sorry for what you went through. No one should have to endure that sort of degrading." Dave pursed his lips. "And I'm not being abused, so you can get that out of your heads."

Rachel nodded.

"Well…" Mr. Shue said. "We should all come up with a song that speaks about the most inner parts our ourselves, a song that reveals crippling secrets." The bell rang. "I'll see you all tomorrow, alright?"

Santana looked at Dave and smiled widely. She was shaking, probably from the adreniline that had pumped into her body when she came out.

"How was that?" He asked.

"It was…" She let out a shaky breath with a huge smile. "Freeing. I feel so much better about everything. I'm still scared that the school will find out and my parents and everything… but I know that they can keep a secret."

"What are you going to sing?" Dave asked. "I think the more important question is what you're going to sing, Mr. David Karofsky." Santana poked him in the chest. She looked around quickly and started humming 'I'm coming out' under her breath. Dave laughed and nudge her. He stopped dead when he caught Azimio's eyes, caught between confusion and disgust.

"Heard you joined that faggot club." He sniffed. "This bitch got you by the balls, does she?" Santana was about to say something when Dave stepped forward.

"One? Don't ever call Santana a bitch. Got that? And two? Don't use that word."

"What word?" Azimio raised his eyebrows, amused. "Faggot? Are you kidding me? You used it more than I did!"

"Well I'm not going to use it anymore, alright?"

"What is she _teaching _you?" Azimio frowned. "And you have avoided the question at hand."

"Yes, I joined glee." Dave tried to beat back his blush with anger. "Because I'm sick and tired of having to bully people because they're different. I like the people in glee. And they… well… they're starting to like me…"

"Dave, what is going _on _man?" Azimio's voice lowered, his eyes lost all hostility and now only harbored concern. "You've been different lately."

"It's nothing, Az." Dave murmured. Sometimes this Azimio showed himself when they were alone. Someone who truly cared for Dave. Dave still didn't know how he would react if he told Azimio everything. Would he keep it a secret or push Dave away with disgust? Dave couldn't handle rejection.

"Come on, teddy." Santana muttered. Azimio caught Dave's elbow.

"Man, you can tell me anything, alright? Don't let this girl turn you from me. We've been friends since we were 8. Doesn't that mean anything?"

Dave opened his mouth and then closed it hastily, following Santana out of the school.


	10. Chapter 10

"What if he's… what if he'll still be my friend?" Dave muttered, looking at Santana.

"And what if he'll totally turn on you and tell the whole school that you're gay? You don't know, Dave. I'd rather you turned to him after you came out to Glee."

Someone knocked on the door. Dave's heart was thumping, he sat up quickly and Santana covered her mouth in shock. Dave opened the door, and Paul Karofsky stood there with confused eyes.

"I came to… tell you that Azimio is on the phone…" He muttered. "Um… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… overhear anything—" Shit. Shit shit shit… Dave thought. He wanted to throw up. This couldn't be how it happened. Everything was going to be awkward now wasn't it? He was going to tell his mom and he was going to be sent to be baptized again or out to his Aunt's—he knew how adamant his Uncle was against gays—maybe he'd be sent there to get it beat out of him. Paul Karofsky seemed to sense the fear and smiled reassuringly.

"Pulling pigtails is not going to get him to notice you, David. Not in the way you'd like." Paul said simply. Dave laugh/sobbed, a huge balloon of nervousness deflated in his chest as he reached out to hug his dad. "I'm sorry that I made you feel like you couldn't come to me about these things, David. I love you, son. No matter what happens."

"Thanks." Dave said, the words globbing in his throat. "I… I'm sorry I didn't… that you found out like that…"

"Is that what you've been so upset about?" Paul muttered. "I know that you've been upset lately, I've heard you crying—"

"Mr. Karofsky?" Santana said, standing up tentatively. "I know that it's probably none of my business, and Dave, I know that you'll hate me for saying this because I guess… well… I've already said enough… but…" She sighed. "Could you please set up Dave with a therapist? Like, a real one? I know I'm enough to talk to him, but he's been talking about suicide—"

"Santana." Dave hissed, glaring at Santana. Santana avoided his glare and continued.

"—And honestly, I'm worried for Dave every second that I'm not with him. Kurt and I are trying to keep him from flailing, we made him join the glee club… but… please." Santana said. Paul looked deeply saddened, but nodded. Santana took a shuddering breath and smiled with some effort. "Well… I think you guys have some stuff to talk about…"

"Santana, why would you do that?" Dave half-growled. "You think I'm going back to glee club, then you can forget it."

"You'll leave us, and then you'll realize how much you missed us." Santana muttered. She turned back to Paul. "Also, I'm a lesbian. We were each other's beards."

Paul cracked a tiny smile of amusement before turning back to his son's broken face of defeat. Santana scooted her way past the Karofskys. Dave couldn't look at his father.

"I bet you think I'm a coward and a pussy now." Dave murmured.

"I don't think you're either. I think that you're confused and sad. And lost." Paul swallowed. "I… I'm going to get your mother." Paul left and Dave fell onto his bed. Could he kill himself by the time his mother got back upstairs? He didn't seriously consider it, but he didn't want to be in this room. He didn't want to have to face it. It was easier when it was just him and Santana, two people frightened to death of the secret that they shared. Now Santana was out, Azimio was suspecting, his parents knew… his secret was slipping through his fingers like water in his hands.

"David?" Sandra Karofsky murmured. "Your father told me that you have something to tell me. Is… are you alright?"

"It's because he can't bring it to say it himself." Dave said heavily. Dave closed his eyes and sighed. "I'm gay, mom." It was her brother, Uncle Marcus, who had such strong opinions on the gays. Sandra's face was blank for a second before a smile crept up her lips. She reached forward and embraced Dave in a warm hug, chuckling into his ear.

"I know, baby." She had a few tears falling down her face. "I think I've known for a while." She wiped her eye and fell down onto the bed next to Dave; his hands still in hers. "Once, when you were 6, you asked me if you could marry the blue power ranger. I tried to tell you that boys don't marry boys, and didn't you mean the pink power ranger? Or the Yellow? And you were so deadset. 'I'm going to marry the blue power ranger mommy, and we're going to be happy forever.' You said." Sandra laughed. "And then of course, your eighth birthday. You had asked to hold hands with Tommy… Tommy Anderson? And he said no, and they spent… all of the little kids…they spent your entire birthday calling you names like, gay and ladyface—horrible names… just insulting you. Marcus joined in, and you were absolutely devastated. You never were the same since then. You never had that excited spark in your eye. I know because I've been checking. It's starting to come back, Dave." Sandra smiled sadly. "And I can't wait until you're happy again."

"Santana has told me that Dave has contemplated suicide." Paul murmured. Dave broke eye contact with his mother because he couldn't take the pain and sadness in her eyes. "She says that we should send him to a therapist."

"I agree." Sandra said immediately. "David, I love you for everything that you are." She said hurriedly, as though Dave was slipping away, as though she needed to enforce her point here. "It's taken some time for your father and I to accept it, but ever since your eighth birthday, we… we took some counseling. First, we thought about trying to convert you. Trying to make you straight. We looked at the pamphlets and all we saw… it was trying to get you to hate yourself. We had to go to so many classes, so many, to come to accept who you are. By the time you were in high school, we sort of guessed that you weren't gay, because we checked your computer, under your bed, and we didn't find anything. We still went to classes, because we liked the feeling of accepting other people. Well… I did. I was interested in gay culture; shocked at how much violence is truly used against gays… it made me sad. It made me especially sad when I heard that you were picking on the only gay kid at school. I wanted to talk to you… but I'm bad with words. I think everyone in this family is horrible with their words." Sandra chuckled. "But… we've been preparing for this." Sandra said finally. "We're okay with you being gay. We don't care. We just want you happy."

Dave was speechless. He recalled his eighth birthday party vividly. He had forgotten just how heartless and horrible everyone had been to him. It was in the back of his mind always. They called him faggot and pussy, gay and disgusting… They threw his birthday cake at him, told him he'd go to hell, took back their presents and left without another word to him. Children could be so harsh when repeating the words of their parents. Dave was just eight years old again, frightened, tortured, insulted and scared. The only person who hadn't made fun of him was Azimio, he remembered. Azimio was the one that stayed with him after the party, helped wash the cake off of him and let Dave open his present. It was a blue power ranger action figure, Dave still had it in a box in his closet.

"_I know how you feel." Azimio said, his tiny eyes looking down. "It's not fair that they made fun of you." _

"_How do you know how I feel?" Dave said, looking up at him, wide-eyed. _

"_Because I'm black." Azimio held a lot of sadness in his body. "I… I don't like seeing anyone upset cuz when I first moved here our neighbors threw stuff at my grammaw, and I got really mad at them. We hadta move." _

"_I'm sorry." Dave muttered after awhile. "I'm not like that, okay? I promise." _

"_Yeah, I know, big guy." Azimio smiled. "I don't care if you wanna hold hands with a guy. But don't pick Tommy Anderson. He's a butthole." _

"_I don't want to hold hands with Tommy Anderson." Dave said, frowning. "I just wanted his watergun." _

_Azimio frowned suspiciously, but didn't say anything else. _

_Azimio was the only one of the 16 invited that slept over that night. _

Dave closed his eyes sadly at the memory. If the Azimio he knew today was the same Azimio back then, then he'd understand. He'd really understand. This Azimio was just upset at everyone else and had to prove that he could hold his own. He didn't like to be under anyone else, he didn't want to act like he could be told what to do. He wanted to protect his reputation and himself. Dave just wanted to push everyone away.


	11. Chapter 11

"I think you should know before glee club." Dave said. It was a week or so after he had come out to his parents. He'd been going to a therapist who was really good at talking things out with him. He mustered enough courage to approach Azimio during school one day. Azimio frowned and allowed himself to be pulled into the choir room.

"I swear, if you're about to sing to me, let me get some ear plugs or somethin'—"

"Azimio." Dave said, lacing seriousness into his tone. Azimio straightened. Dave sighed. He'd never actually had to really come out to someone. Except his mom. But his dad sort of helped him with that. What was he supposed to say? Was he just supposed to come out and… just say it?

"Dude, what is the problem?" Azimio said. What if this wasn't the Azimio he'd been anticipating? The open-minded eight year old? What if he was completely disgusted in Dave and told everyon—

"I'm gay." Dave blurted before he could frighten himself into chickening out. Dave's heart was threatening to burst from his chest. He looked into Azimio's face as it widened into a smile. He thinks it's a joke. He's going to laugh at the joke I just made and he's going to tell everyone.

"Dude, I _know._" Azimio laughed loudly. "I was starting to wonder if you'd like… get it. I knew since we were eight, man. Been looking for the signs since."

Dave's eyes widened. "But you … you made fun of gays with me! You would insult them."

"Yeah," Azimio shrugged guiltily. "I'm not a good guy… it's always fun to make fun of someone and you did it a whole lot… so… I guess I got kind of out of hand." Azimio shrugged. "But man, you are so bad at being subtle to someone who's lookin' for it."

"So I've been told."

"I thought I'd have to tell you before you got married to some lady or somethin'." Azimio said, throwing his arm around Dave's shoulders before tensing and taking it off. "You don't like me or nothin' do you? Cuz, man I love the pussy." Dave grimaced.

"No. No… I mean… It's—"

"Hummel or Evans." Azimio said easily. "They're the two you're always like… looking after, whether you know it or not."

Dave buried his face in his hand. "Was I really that bad?"

"Yep." Azimio muttered happily. "Shit man, this means no more secrets!"

"Um…" Dave frowned. "Why, do you have something you want to tell me?"

"Mercedes Jones." Azimio said, smiling. "Mercedes _Jones._"

Dave raised his eyebrows. "Really? She's your type?"

"Do you mean is 'sexy as hell' my type? And now that you're in glee club, you can totally hook me up."

"They don't really fully trust me yet. They trust me a little bit because of Kurt and Santana, and they know I've got like, a huge secret that I'm keeping from them, but they don't know yet, alright?"

Azimio frowned. "You told me before you told them?"

"Yeah."

"Even though I could've done a complete dick move and told the football team?"

"Well…" Dave shifted. "I sort of hope that you don't."

"Even though they'd totally be all insta-supportive and start singing 'we are family' or some crap?" Azimio frowned. "Why?" "Well… what you said the other day." Dave said. "We've been friends since we were eight. And… I remembered my eighth birthday party." Azimio winced.

"Never forgot it."

"I did. Completely. I blocked it completely out of my mind. All that I remember coming out of it was you being my best friend. You told me you didn't care if I held hands with a guy." Dave blushed.

"Well I don't. Still don't hold hands with Tommy Anderson. Fucker is _still an asshole." _

_Dave laughed sadly. "Yeah. I shouldn't even have a relationship or nothin' at this stage." Dave shrugged. "I mean… I'm just really happy that you don't hate me." _

"_Couldn't ever hate you." Azimio said. They tapped knuckles. "You're my best friend." _

"_I have a secret." Dave shouted, his eyes still fresh from the happy tears he had shed with Azimio not minutes ago. Santana and Kurt frowned, interested. Dave couldn't get rid of his smile. "All previous times I've tried to say this, I couldn't think of a good pre-speech to give." Dave shrugged, his grin lopsided and genuine. His parents still loved him. He still had his best friend. Therapy was going well. It was working out for him, for once in his life. _

"_I'm gay." He said, smiling, completely giddy. "I'm gay and almost proud." Glee was shocked into silence. "What, aren't you gonna sing Kumaya or something? We are Family?" Dave chuckled. "Sorry, I just told Azimio and he was totally cool about it. I'm so incredibly happy right now, it hurts." _

"_So… you're serious?" Sam said, raising his eyebrows. Dave nodded. _

_Finn smiled and walked down, took his hand and shook it. Rachel ran up and hugged him. Mike shook his hand, Sam not far behind. Santana wrapped her familiar arms around him. _

"_I'm proud of you Teddy Bear." She muttered. "That was so confident in comparison with mine." _

"_I feel confident. I didn't want to waste it." _

_And then Kurt. Beautiful, delicate, sturdy Kurt, who stood in front of Dave, serious and fighting a smile. _

"_You know that this means you've joined a club that only has three members?" Kurt chuckled. "The CHoMH. The Consciously Homosexuals of McKinley High." Kurt wrapped his arms around Dave, a blush creeping up Dave's cheeks and reaching his ears. "I'm proud of you too." _

_Dave hugged Kurt back, pretended like he wasn't pretending that they were together, and this was a daily occurrence. Kurt let go and looked into Dave's eyes._

"_I just have one inquiry to make before I make my official step into glee territory." Dave turned to Mercedes. "Azimio. Just think about it." _

_Mercedes raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Consider it thought about." Mr. Shue clapped his hands together and said, "Now. Who else has a secret?" _


End file.
